How to Be Forbearing (Ḥaleem) in Islam

Forbearance (الحِلم) is one of the most beautiful Islamic virtues. It’s about staying calm when anger rises, showing patience instead of revenge, and choosing wisdom over impulsiveness. Islam places great emphasis on this noble character, and the Prophet ﷺ himself was a perfect example of it.

In this article, we’ll explore:

• The meaning of ḥilm in Islam
• How to develop forbearance in daily life
• Its place in the Quran and Sunnah
• The virtues and rewards of being ḥaleem

Good Character in Islam

Islam, like other divine religions, encourages believers to uphold noble manners and avoid bad traits that harm both individuals and society. One of the Prophet’s ﷺ main missions was to perfect good character:

قال رسول الله ﷺ:
«إِنَّمَا بُعِثْتُ لِأُتَمِّمَ مَكَارِمَ الأَخْلاَقِ»
The Prophet ﷺ said: “I was only sent to perfect good character.”
(Narrated by al-Albani, al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, Hadith 45 – Authentic)

Among these noble qualities is ḥilm (forbearance).

What Does Ḥilm Mean?

• Linguistically: The root (ح ل م) has several meanings, including “a vision in a dream” and “deliberation.” Here it refers to patience and calmness instead of haste or impulsiveness.
• In Islamic terminology: Scholars described it as:
  • “Controlling oneself at the time of anger.” – al-Raghib al-Asfahani
  • “Avoiding revenge despite the ability to do so.” – al-Jahiz
  • “Showing calmness and wisdom when wronged.” – al-Jurjani

Al-Ḥaleem (The Forbearing) is also one of Allah’s Beautiful Names. Allah sees disobedience but does not hasten punishment, even though He has full power to do so.

Allah says:

﴿وَلَوْ يُؤَاخِذُ اللَّهُ النَّاسَ بِظُلْمِهِمْ مَا تَرَكَ عَلَيْهَا مِنْ دَابَّةٍ﴾
“And if Allah were to punish the people for their wrongdoing, He would not have left upon the earth any creature.”
(Surah al-Nahl, 16:61)

He also says:

﴿وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي أَنْفُسِكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُ ۚ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ﴾
“And know that Allah knows what is within yourselves, so beware of Him. But know that Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing.”
(Surah al-Baqarah, 2:235)

Forbearance was also the quality of prophets, as Allah described Ibrahim (Abraham, عليه السلام):

﴿إِنَّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ لَحَلِيمٌ أَوَّاهٌ مُّنِيبٌ﴾
“Indeed, Abraham was forbearing, grieving, and frequently turning to Allah.”
(Surah Hud, 11:75)

How to Cultivate Forbearance

Forbearance doesn’t just come naturally—it can be trained. Here’s how:

1. Practice until it becomes a habit.
   The Prophet ﷺ said:
   «إِنَّمَا العِلْمُ بِالتَّعَلُّمِ، وَإِنَّمَا الحِلْمُ بِالتَّحَلُّمِ…»
   “Knowledge is through learning, and forbearance is through practicing forbearance…”
   (al-Albani, al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, Hadith 342 – Hasan)
2. Reflect on its benefits.
   Remembering the rewards of ḥilm and the harms of anger makes it easier to stay calm.
3. Keep good company.
   Spend time with patient, wise people. Their manners will rub off on you.

The Status of Ḥilm in Islam

Forbearance has a high rank in Islam:

• One of Allah’s Names is Al-Ḥaleem.
• The Prophets and Companions were known for their forbearance.
• The Prophet’s ﷺ example at Ta’if: When he was rejected and mocked, the Angel of the Mountains offered to crush his enemies. Instead, the Prophet ﷺ forgave and said:

“I hope that Allah will bring forth from their descendants those who worship Allah alone and associate nothing with Him.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhari, Hadith 3231 – Authentic)

This shows his unmatched patience, mercy, and vision.

The Virtues and Benefits of Forbearance

Being ḥaleem brings countless blessings, both in this world and the Hereafter:

• Gaining Allah’s love and pleasure
• Winning people’s respect and admiration
• Removing hatred and preventing conflicts
• Silencing fools with calmness rather than arguments
• Building inner peace and strength

Final Thoughts

Forbearance is not weakness—it’s true strength. It transforms anger into wisdom, revenge into mercy, and conflict into peace. As Muslims, we are called to embody this divine quality and reflect it in our daily lives.

👉 If you’d like to strengthen your character through learning Quranic teachings, consider joining our online Quran classes. With personalized one-on-one lessons, you can learn not only to recite but also to live the Quran’s noble values like patience, mercy, and forbearance.