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How to Resist Sexual Desires, tips from Quran

Allah says don’t even go near fornication/adultery, as you know don’t go meant don’t even go near it, he doesn’t say; don’t do adultery, don’t commit adultery, he says; “Don’t go near it” in other words, there’s the act itself and then there is a series of smaller acts that lead to it. it’s got a perimeter around it and you can’t even go close to it. One has to understand the language of the Quran and the sensitivity in which deals with the subject to appreciate the wisdom of Allah and how he’s counseling us in dealing with this problem. Allah SWT is telling us there are certain things that in and of themselves are not Haram, you’re not going to be able to pinpoint it and say it is wrong, but when you get involved in it you’re going to get sucked into a gravitational field and it will pull you in slowly and surely, little by little by little and eventually it’ll get you, eventually it’ll come at you.
One of the things we learn about Shaitan, that is remarkable is that, he’s extremely patient, he won’t get you one shot, he’ll come at you and he will put a little bit and a little bit and a little bit and a little bit until he destroys your character, he won’t come and make you do the wrong thing right away and he when people start listening to Shaitan and this is the same surah Allah says in that “upon my slaves you’re not going to have any authority over them.” in other words people who really submit to Allah he will not have authority over them but others,
Surah Baqarah, Allah SWT says; he will command you to do shamelessness. In other words when you listen to him a little bit you’ve granted him a little bit of power, when you listen to him a little more you’ve granted him a little more power and if you keep on listening to him he gets to the point where he can command you, you will find yourself where you are like, I can’t even help myself, , I don’t know how to turn the computer off, I don’t know what makes me do that every night, I don’t know what makes me do this, I don’t know what makes me go there. that’s the way when you know Shaitan has got a pretty good hold on you, it’s just getting worse and you’re not addressing it and it’s making the problem worse, it’s destroying your spirituality altogether, your relationship with Allah depends on a heart being clean. Every time you’re exposed to fill more dirt more blackness more you like covers are poured on top of your heart and it keeps on to the point where you’re listening to the word of Allah and you can’t get yourself to even shed a single tear. It won’t come, because your heart has been made so hard, because of all the exposure to filth all the same that your eyes are taking in all the time and you don’t even care anymore. A good heart IS when it sees something inappropriate that doesn’t coincide with the commandments of Allah, it is disturbed, it’s not attractive, it’s disturbed and says no that’s wrong immediately the conscience kicks in the alarm goes off, but when you’re at the point when you’re by yourself and you feel no guilt doing it, you don’t feel that it’s wrong. the only thing you leave before you stare at a sister, you look around like anybody else watching and then you take a good look and means the fear of Allah is completely gone. the only fear you have is out of the scene. there’s no more fear of the unseen, what a horrible spiritual state to be in. Allah says; he knows the stealing of the eyes a little glance you caught, he knows that one. that little glance you took, what to speak of the stare and he knows what the chest is hiding.
This particular ayah “don’t even go near Zina (Adultery), it has always been considered a lewd shameless vulgar act and a horrible path.
Allah describes it as a path a horrible path, in other words, a path has steps and you have to identify which step you’re in, what makes you get into this, for each of us there’s a process, there’s a cycle you’re in a room by yourself, you’re at after school, you’ve got a couple of hours before your parents get home and you’re among a bunch of friends that don’t have any standard, now you have to identify what leads you to the sin every time and you have to cut it in its tracks. You have to stop going down that path.
what’s amazing to me about this ayat is where we’re it is situated. right after this ayah, Allah says; “Don’t murder people”. Don’t kill any person, that’s the innocent person essentially.
Allah mentioned this crime first and murder second. Can you think of that? like we think of murder is a huge crime right?
but Allah says when you violate the dignity of a human being, that’s fahsha, looking at a human being in that way is violating your own and their dignity and when we kill a person we have violated their physical, their right to life. So there’s a spiritual murder Fahsha and there’s a physical murder Qatl, there are two kinds of murder here, so Allah SWT mentions the spiritual murder first.
Our standards have gone so low, a movie comes out, you see a couple of trailers, you tell yourself, ah this is just one bad scene and it’s okay. It is PG 13, it is not R. what used to be R ten years ago has now PG-13, what used to be PG-13 is now PG, they put filthy scenes and everything and we don’t even care about the spiritual price we’re paying, it’s affecting our prayer, it’s affecting our dua it’s affecting our character, it’s affecting our family life, it is. and we don’t care, we just think, hey that’s life bro, come on live in the time. That’s all right. that’s just what it is now. what can you do?
So many of us don’t care about what kinds of pictures we put up of ourselves on our Facebook pages. How can you do that you’re Muslim? how can you post pictures like that?
Have dignity for yourself, have dignity for your family, guard your gaze, start with your eyes as in of the eyes everything else goes from there, but the last thing at least is something about the word Fahisha which I’m translating a shamelessness or lewdness or vulgarity, the Arabic language has roots that are close to each other, wahash and Fahash, wahash actually means a wild animal and Fahash means someone who acts like a wild animal. Shamelessness is described as behavior close to animal behavior.
Allah has dignified the human being, the punishment of Adam AS was, his clothes were removed, our mother’s and our father’s clothes were removed. That was a punishment from Allah and immediately they recognized that they need to cover themselves, they didn’t learn to cover themselves from a society, it wasn’t society that taught them to be shameless you know nowadays,
Your anthropology professors are like you know, it’s society that makes us just dress in clothes, you know it’s a sociological thing we learn to dress and cover ourselves over history, but naturally, we’re just supposed to be the way we are like all other animals.
Adam Alaihissalam didn’t learn anything from any society, he was given a consciousness and the moment when clothes were removed, he was trying to cover himself, our mother trying to cover herself.
We are supposed to be a people that guard ourselves with covering and we dignify others by not looking at them, even if they don’t have dignity for themselves, we should have dignity for them and not look, because they are in the end of creation of Allah, even if they’re disappointing creation of Allah.

In this post, you’re going to read about the habits of a successful Muslimah. Success can be a very personal thing, what one person finds to be successful is not what another person finds to be successful. However, I think that as Muslim women, there are certain things that we can all agree our definitions of success and I’ve tried to include some of those in this article for you guys today.

1.Establish Salah

So the first and foremost habits of a successful Muslimah, in my opinion, is, a Muslim woman who prays her salat on time, it was the woman who knows what her purposes in this life, who knows that her main goal for being here is to worship Allah SWT and Allah SWT says that, he did not create mankind and jinn kind except to worship Allah. So as Muslim women we must always keep that as our main focus and try to find ways to incorporate that into our lives. So praying Salam on time is crucial to our success and there is the verse in the Quran where Allah says; “that successful indeed are those who pray their salat on time.” we all know the importance of Salah, because it is one of the first things, that we will be asked about on the day of judgment and if that is sound and complete, then all of our other deeds will be sound and complete and if our Salah is not sound and complete then we will basically be in trouble.

2.Practice Gratitude:

The next habit of a successful Muslimah in my perspective is a Muslim woman who is grateful. now I know we fear to hear this hadith that the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam saw that, Majority of the people in hellfire are women and one of the reasons that were stated is because they tend to be ungrateful. So we can practice gratitude a lot more in the 21st century, by writing a gratitude journal. I love to my gratitude journals cuz, whenever I do it, it just reminds me that, there is so much that I actually don’t thank Allah for and what I do is, I basically just take my diary out and I sit down and write down five things that I’m grateful for, just for that day and for each day I’ve tried to think of different things and sometimes it can be funny. I’ve written down that I’m grateful for my tongue because I bet my tongue the other day and it hurts so bad. so yes I’m really grateful to Allah to have a tongue that is not hurting right now. so yeah, it could be the greatest of things or the smallest of things, it really doesn’t matter. Allah says that, if you’re grateful to him, he will increase you. Remember that Allah never fails in his promise, so if you want more if you want an increase in your life, then you have to practice gratitude and for me, that is one of the habits of a successful Muslim woman.

3.Self Care:

The third habit of a successful Muslim woman is that she takes time to care for herself. Self-care is very very important, sometimes it just means taking some time out, just to have a little bit of “me time”, do your beauty regime, that you would normally do taking care of your hair, your nails, your skin, pampering yourself, you know just take a little bit of time to do what makes you happy and that can be making a lovely cup of tea and just sitting down and chilling. Now you cannot be a successful person period let alone a Muslim woman if you yourself are not feeling your best. So in order to give your best you’ve got to be able to be feeling your best and part of having that self-care is taking care of your body, your body has a right over you just as many things have a right over you and that is actually an Islamic saying. So what I like to do is on Sunday mornings, mainly like an hour after Fajr once the Sun has written quite well, I’ll put my own trainers on and I’ll go out of the house, I will start with a quick brisk walk and then I will go running, you can find it your local park you can run around do two laps, whatever you can go to the gym, there are so many options or you can even exercise in your own house or there are sisters only gyms, especially here in London. So make use of the opportunities that you have, to take care of yourself and to look after this body a mind that Allah has blessed us with when we have a healthy body and mind we can give up our best to everyone else around us.

4.Spend Time with your Kids:

Now the next habit of a successful Muslimah in my eyes is, a Muslim woman who takes time out to teach her children. It could be you, sitting down doing homework with your child or you teaching your children morals, you’re teaching them manners and respect. You know the mother is the first teacher in a child’s life, like I teach but people like me who other people bring their children to, I’m like the second grade of teaching, the mother she’s like the first grade of teaching, because everything that she teaches is not just academic, it’s also teaching morals and good manners all those things that I’ve spoken of. So take the time to teach your children, invest in your children because they are the future, there’s no point in us having high expectations of our children when we ourselves are not ready to invest in them, now the men also have a role to play here, yes I do agree, but a majority of the time, it is us the women that spent the most time with the kids and so we carry a lot of this responsibility. So I will say, prioritize your time right and make time for your children, spend quality time with them and teach them and in my eyes, I think that, that is one of the habits of a successful Muslim woman is that she makes time to teach her children.

5.Seek Knowledge:

Another habit is for successful Muslimah, who seeks knowledge. now seeking knowledge is necessary upon the believer, there is no excuse for us not to seek knowledge and seek your knowledge could be secular knowledge as well as Islamic knowledge, what I like to do is make some time, sit down and practice, you know go through my Tajweed and practice some of the things that I’ve learned before in the past to make sure that I’m not forgetting the rules and so I can apply it whenever I’m reading Quran and making sure that reciting the Quran properly. So make your time to seek knowledge to learn, it could be watching something on the internet watching a few lectures or something like that you learn Quran online with tajweed or something you don’t you didn’t know before or even you get reminded of what you know, it could be going to the library and looking through books and expanding your mind and your knowledge. It’s really sad that this day and age a lot of people are still really small minded and they really think that Muslim women are uneducated people, that’s really not the case and Islam encourages education as much as possible and we’ve got to be the representatives of that.

6.Donate to Charity:

the final habit that I would say, that makes a successful Muslimah, is a Muslimah who gives to charity. when I say giving to charity I don’t just mean giving money, it could be giving your time giving your knowledge giving your efforts, supporting a brother or sister and something they are not able to do, but the prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said that “it is more beloved to him that he should aid his brother in need than for him to stand in his Masjid.” and he was talking about Masjid An Nabawi in Medina and while standing in his Masjid and performing i’tikaf.
Praying in masjid an Nabawi the rewards are like thousands more than what you would get a regular prayer anywhere else in the world and i’tekaf is literally when you confine yourself to the Masjid and you don’t leave except for your biological needs, let’s say you need to go to the toilet or whatever, then you might be able to leave, but other than that you remain in the Masjid in seclusion and you just worship a lot the whole way through it’s more beloved to the Prophet Mohammed so lovely was tell him to help his brother in need then for him to do that.
when we think about the Deen and worshipping Allah, we only concentrate on Salah. Yes, a lot is at the top of that, but however supporting one another and sharing the good that we have with others is also what makes us such an amazing ummah, so I believe that in order for you to be a successful Muslim you must be able to have that heart to be able to share your good with others and so that Allah SWT will come to your aid and will help you when you are also in need.
So those are there six habits that I believe make a successful Muslim woman, I pray that you guys will be able to implement some of those inshallah.